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[HP] And I'm on my knees looking for the answer (Chapter Four)

title And I'm on my knees looking for the answer
beta leliwen
fandom: Harry Potter
characters: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Ginny Weasley, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger.
pairing: Harry / Ginny, Harry / Draco
rating: NC-17
plot Voldemort was defeated. Harry finds himself with a life to manage.
notes: Thanks to my beta, for his helpful advice. Oddly
the title existed before writing the fanfic, "is from" Human "by The Killers.
chapter list: [1] [2] [3]


Ginny would like to see the sun went down so quickly in winter, would be able to see well at all times, would not be able to using surrogates. Pour water and swallow a sip out of her mouth for the taste of dinner.
"Do you want more, Harry?"
He asks to dampen down the silence for some time. He is sitting in front of her, her plate is still half full, there is a split of candles laid on the table, their light casts shadows on their faces.
The only answer he receives is the sound of the fork of the guy who tinkles against the ceramic plate.
He gets up, then, to take the baton and begin to clear up, but Harry stops her.
"I have to say something," the sound comes out the bottom, as if he did not speak for days, as if he would return to talk right now.
Ginny would like it to be already night, to sleep, to wait until tomorrow. It fits a lock of hair behind an ear while you live, but regrets doing it because now her face is exposed and Harry can see every change. Start playing with the wax of a candle.
"I saw Draco more than a month ago, we met a few times," Ginny withdraws his fingers from the wax, maybe it was burned. He raises his face toward him, her green eyes shining with the light, but the rest of the face is tense, sad, almost resigned, "Malfoy?", No one had ever heard call it by its proper name, maybe he did not they have not even realized.
"Yes, he seems willing to say more, but lowers his face, runs his hand on the nape, the hair short.
"It 'was closer to him," puts his arms on the table and lifts up his eyes, "we met by chance at the Ministry, has started to talk to me and I, "swallow, his eyes are large and concentrated as if he himself were to hear for the first time that story and did not want to miss a word.
" I do not know what I have got, really, "the his hands gesturing in the air, "I had to do, I understand."
"I had made him the pacifier?" words are already known in the mind of Ginny, already pronounced in different situations with different people, he imagined so many Sometimes that moment that now does not know what to do, it feels slippery, but does not have the strength to seek handholds.
Harry sighed, not expecting it, "yeah, it was him, but for fun," Ginny stood up and the chair falls back on which she sat, his eyes are filled with tears while the screams of being a bastard.
run run to their bedroom, hoping to forget, hoping that what is going to be just another nightmare, he opens the suitcase and fills it with the first things the captain, his eyes are clouded, the tears away with the back of hands, but returned almost immediately.
Her boyfriend is on the door, keeps repeating phrases trying to make it calm, keep her, but she does not hear him, pull up the nose, try to imagine themselves immersed in a tub with warm water, beautiful, quiet, but awareness of what makes Harry loves sob even more. The addresses
last look before you throw in the fireplace and fly very in flames after murmuring 'lair'.

*

"I thought it was up to the task of beating one of his brothers," Mrs. Weasley Harry sets without knowing what to expect, it seems a bit 'shaken, but his hand goes up to accarezzagli cheek.
"Harry, no one wants to hurt you," settled back on the couch in the blue room where he lived until a few days ago her daughter, "maybe just a little 'Ron."
Potter puffs, but his face darken again soon, "I'm so sorry, I did not want to hurt Ginny, I've tried, we tried both," her pain is so strong that Molly can not keep from him a pat on the arm, with love.
"I know, dear, we all know, you'll understand that even Ginny, is a smart girl."
Harry fails to grasp the reason for the presence of Mrs. Weasley, he expected a visit, with all that had happened, but he expected anger, not understanding. He looks hesitant - not at all sorry for his visit - but does not answer, he would come to understand what everyone seems to know. The
looks like it was forbidden to do for some time, the war had changed a lot, and you have not noticed by only a few, deep furrows that marked some points of the face, but the way in all his actions seemed muted, her scolding not have the same effect of a time, his smiles were shorter and less wide, as if it is hard to stay happy, as if there was a rope tightly around her, to remember them at all times that if you get too far away would be choked, that if he tried to escape it would not disappear from reality anyway.
Harry did not want to accumulate more pain on the shoulders of the only woman I've ever tried to be his mother since he was sent to the Dursleys, but he knows that it was inevitable. The brings up a cup of tea and a tray of pastries, which lies on the glass table positioned in front of them.
While Harry grabs a biscuit beginning to nibble, Molly starts to speak, he does it with downcast eyes, with his hands were trembling slightly as they play with the fabric of her dress, "I realized one thing from the war, my dear, and you should have learned it too," when he looked up on the boy known as his eyes are filled with Invisible Tears, "is always too late, Harry. so I wanted to say to Fred that I loved him instead of continuing to scold him, but he was so young and no mother can think of the death of her child, even during a war. C ' is always hope, always, "a tear along the face and you go to deposit at the end of his cheek, Harry goes over to comfort her, but she stops him," you must not do it too, please. Do not let all flow upon you, not let fear of hurting you again stop you from being happy. I am old now, but you must continue to live. "
Potter would be able to undo this knot in my throat that was formed suddenly, to say something to comfort her, for they can not promise that caused the unhappiness of his daughter unnecessarily, but when he heard Molly's arms wrap and stick to his sweater, the only thing it does is tighten it as hard as he can.

*

Draco knows what they're doing is not very bright, but has made of the wrong things and this is not considered one of the worst. Prior to manifest its presence in the note that reads Potter received less than an hour before, breathing, thinking that will never be worse than it already gone.
"Hello Draco," is surprised to be called so, as if Harry really was not speaking with him, but with another person.
"Why did you call me?" says avoiding dwell sull'accenno of beard on Potter or read that dark circles around the eyes.
"I wanted to see you."
"Why did you call me?" repeats and notice the rosy cheeks of the other gradually increase, approaching him to be able to fix the green irises.
"Ginny is gone," he confesses at the end and Draco can not decide whether to laugh or to punch the Gryffindor.
"Again, why did you call me?" flinch when she sees Harry, all the rage at the absence of that explosion preventing month to keep the peace had until then, grabs him by the shirt before saying drawled "you wanted to have sex with me, is not it? Now that the lentil is gone you needed someone to vent your instincts? Fuck, I'm not a whore. " She heads for the exit as quickly as possible, ignoring the protests of Potter; feels itchy fingers and throws a punch before he left the door frame.
Harry stops for a moment, incredulous, then spend five minutes each to split contents of that room.

*

"You have a combined mess," Ginny is sitting on an old rocking chair brought home one day as Arthur, in love with this new contraption Muggle. His body is wrapped in an old blanket with floral motifs, in the hands a cup of tea.
His voice is cheerful, almost playful, as if in that mess there was well over her, Harry, however, knows that reality is very different: her eyes red certainly fail to act well her part.
"Sorry," and the boy does not know how many times have you uttered those two words in recent days, probably not enough.
Ginny does not respond, only to sip his drink, they both know that forgiveness does not flow from the sentences it will take time and effort.
"I think you should try it," supports the sole of one foot on the ground, in order to sway slightly, "with Malfoy, I mean."
Potter has the decency not to contradict her, the girl realizes that the effort is enormous and can also understand why it is saying those things: he wants at least part of his suffering was helped, because she still loves him so much who is content to see him happy.
"He sent me to fuck it, I do not know how much he wanted to try ", his lips curling into a grin, did not really want to talk about his ex-girlfriend with Draco and hopes that she give up.
"Surely you've earned it," makes a tongue and Harry laughs happy after who knows how long because that gesture back to the early days, when they were carefree and in love. He feels that the tension between them is slipping away, although I still try to remain attached in any way.
"Surely, now that Voldemort is dead the role of law bad for me," she stops suddenly realizing that maybe are not as ready to afford to play that way and expect some negative reaction on his part but Ginny's smile never seems to want to leave his lips.
"You're lucky, Potter, Ron is not at home, waiting to see when you discover that you have betrayed her sweet sister with that son of a bitch Malfoy. "
They look for a second, staring into his eyes, then begin to laugh imagining the scene, Harry with a little 'fear, Ginny with tears that would uscirle impertinent.

* **